Two normal days in Berlin.

At age seventeen my father took me with him on a business trip to Europe. We spent three weeks: landing first in London, taking a train to Paris and from there a rental Clio Renault. Nothing says tourist like two men 6’ plus and each well over 200lbs shoulder to shoulder in the Euro-version of a Neon.

I will save the Amsterdam stories for in person sharing only. (Buy me have a few beers and make sure it is not a family function.)

Hand to God all of the following happenings took place in a two day span in a small town on the lake outside of Berlin.

Day 1:
Our hotel was white and looked fairly modern and new. The lake was just behind and a small restaurant sat just across the parking lot. As we walked in the small restaurant we were greeted by a lovely girl who spoke no English but was very smiley and quickly helped us to a table in a small glass room, almost like a greenhouse. A waitress also quite attractive offered us bottled flat and fizzy water. Never have I been a fan of carbonation in my water so I skipped right to ordering beer.

I don’t recall any other patrons in the place. We must have been early or late for whatever meal this was, the time change and language had made for some interesting dining experiences. We began eating and the food was delicious. As I was mid drink I looked up at Dad sitting across from me and out of the corner of my eye something unusual. I did a full cartoon double-take. Our hostess was standing just a few feet from the table and giggling. As my head turned slightly left I notice a gorilla, not a real gorilla of course but a person in a gorilla costume.

“Dad, am I crazy or is there a person in a gorilla costume over there?”

Dad looked at me as if I were insane. He turned to look and as we both knew what we were seeing, the gorilla and the hostess proceeded to laugh out loud. We chuckled and awkwardly waved and the gorilla waved back.

To this day I don’t know if they were just bored or if somewhere in Europe we were on Candid Camera UK.

Later that night I saw one of the maids in the hallway and again she was much above average in the looks department. Again, not sure if this place was run by all women but it seemed that way, maybe a brothel? Don’t worry didn’t find out. In regards to all the women being attractive I guess in retrospect when you are seventeen any female with a smile is pretty.

Day two:
Our job while in Germany was to install a boatlift for a sailboat on a small pier of a dock. The day before, dad and our German contact Manfred had scouted an open lot on the water where we could assemble the lift. We traveled there and met up with two nice Croatian workers and got straight to work. The weather was gray just the way you would picture Germany. Clouds and a chill in the air. Wet and yet not raining. The lift, when built, was well over thirty feet long and could support a much larger boat than we would actually be lifting.

While scouting locations a space this large was hard to come by. As we finished the assembly it was time to get it in the water and we would have to float it across the small lake to its actual install point. The weather turned worse and the lake only added to the cold temperature and amount of water blowing about in the breeze.

It was time to pull the lift across the lake. Only two problems; the boat was not big enough for all of us and the motor on the boat was made for a small fishing boat. Dad and I now find ourselves riding on the lift one on each tank balancing the rig. At about two knots this took forever. By the time we reached the other side our jackets were soaked. We had made it. As we stood on the dock, the owner of the sailboat climbed aboard and pulled five tin cups and a bottle of something from below deck.

He poured generously and with a raise in the air we toasted and I quickly shot back what would turn out to be scotch. Talk about a warming of the soul.

Two events that just stick with you are seeing a gorilla suit out in public and drinking scotch for the first time. It just so happens they happened to me in a short two day span in a small town in Germany.


Fun Facts about my European Adventure

- Visited seven countries in three weeks, drank in all
- Met a waitress named Stamina (Likely the wrong spelling, funny no matter what)
- Walked from our Hotel in Nice, France to the boardwalk for a late night drink with an Italian girl named Federica, a Frenchman named Jacque and an Englishman named Vincent.
- Had beer at McDonalds
- Learned that stereotypes are usually accurate
- Gained more life experience in three weeks than the previous 16 years
- Saw the Eiffel Tower, London Bridge, Monte Carlo and Cannes
- Haven’t been back for lack of funds, would go in a heartbeat!

(I have more from this trip and I am sure I will get it all out there eventually, but for now this will have to do. Thanks for reading!)

Kids are like little humans.

My son is eight years old and an only child.

I don’t claim to be the best father on the planet but likely top five. I can’t compete with millionaires when it comes to gift giving but that is the beauty part of being a father, time is worth more than money. These are just a few observations I have found in the first eight years raising an only child. Those of you with multiple babes; I can’t even fathom the work and differences that would present. If you don’t have any kids yet, maybe someday you will and you can learn something from this. Otherwise I hope you see that life is humor and with a kid around humor is life.

When you first get pregnant everyone is full of advise most of which pertains to sleep, food and keys to success. Old or young parents everyone has an opinion on the secrets to parenthood. Don’t tell anyone but here are a few of the real secrets.

When asked, “Dad can I stay up five more minutes?”

Don’t answer. This is a trick question and in fact a beginning to a negotiation you will lose.

When asked, “So… do you hide the eggs?”

Always respond with a question, “What do you think?” or “Would you be disappointed if I did?” This will keep him thinking, while also allowing you time to gauge his emotional state.

When asked, “Can I play Wii/go ride bikes/play on the computer/ watch a show?”

Take this opportunity to capitalize on their willingness to do chores in order to enjoy other activities.

When asked… Anything about sex.

Become a scientist, speak in terms they may or may not understand and allow their little brains to produce fantastical imagery. They will be confused and yet informed. Never lie, it will come back and bite you.

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It is a scary world out there and between tv/movies/internet they know more than we ever did at whatever age they have reached. Both my wife and I graduated college and as a communications major my ability and willingness to hear myself speak comes with some transference of vocabulary, wit and over all smart-assedness. When asked if he was going to play a game this past weekend he crossed his arms leaned back in his chair and said, “I am still currently contemplating my decision.” Love that kid.

As far as I can tell being an only child is kind of like being a constant third wheel. The goal as parents is not making them feel that way. He doesn’t rule our world but we do make decisions that often revolve around him. He gets all the benefits of having two people focused on his every move, yet misses the benefits of a sibling. We didn’t have one child by choice; we are unable to naturally have others. Some might say this is a God thing and I agree. If we had another one this smart we would be working for them. It takes all we have to keep up with one!

I think that time spent with your child is the best possible use of time. Throwing a ball, playing video games, church, school functions, family stuff, parties and anything social will bring you that much closer together and they will respect your opinions and your authority that much more if you can connect with what makes them tick. Kids are so easily influenced and so eager to learn. We just hope between the two of us we can handle the homework. The more involved the better, you can’t over do it when it comes to participation.

When you plan on having a child or don’t really plan at all, that child is going to change your life. You might think about watching them at their first dance recital or t-ball game, but rarely do you think of explaining racism or death. I used to wonder why my parents knew so much and now I see they were learning this whole time. You never stop learning and with a kid you are forced to reflect and decide what type of person you want them to be. We only have a few short years to be THE guiding source before they are making decisions on their own. Our only hope is that we have instilled a moral compass that is both strong and easy to follow.

(We have only skimmed the surface on this topic and I plan on posting some funny stories and other "parenting tips". I gave my son the green light to ask anything and you can be sure he will. Hopefully it will make for some fun writing and reading.)

Self control and chronic procrastination.

Self control and chronic procrastination.

I once had a professor say he was great with self control as long as his options were limited to nothing. His example was a bag of Doritos. “If I have a bag of Doritos, I’m going to eat the whole bag of Doritos. On the other hand if I don’t buy the bag of Doritos, I won’t eat them.”

I think sometimes this is my problem in many aspects of life. If in fact I am limited, my ability to make clear decisions seems more acute. Another great example would be the work/housework scenario. This skill starts when we are young and for most of us carries over into adulthood. Let’s say you have a five page paper due. At that exact moment your brain says ‘Hey you know what I haven’t done in a while... cleaned out my closet.’ The funny thing about this is that both tasks need to be done but one just seems a bit less obnoxious.

Someday I hope I get paid a lot of money for my creativity. Now that I put that out there, I need to focus my attention on one or two aspects and keep at them until they become reality. I only recently gave up on my male modeling career so that opens up a little time. Between song writing, singing, blogging and writing for fun I seem to have a dream that is big but because I don’t put 100% into one particular thing I feel like a true Jack-of-all-trades, master of none. Follow through, that’s what it comes down to right? I have taken on physical challenges in the past with great success, why not creative challenges?

How do you know if there are opportunities out there waiting for you to pounce if you never leave the house? It is at this point in my 29 years I feel the most confident in me. Between accomplishing goals, working hard and building a life to be proud of my self awareness is up even when my procrastination and control might be down. This week marks the start of big things. (Details to follow)

I wrote out a list of goals for the year. I have not accomplished any of them yet. April seems like enough procrastination. Wasting time is like cheating God daily. We have been given gifts and abilities we should use them as best we can. Much shall be accomplished this week and you will be the first to know of any major breakthroughs. Only 9 months until the big ‘30’ on the cake, let’s get started or better yet finished.

2 year financial plan:

- DEBT
- Make Money
- DEBT
- Make Money
- Bills
- Make Money
- NO MORE DEBT.
- Make Money
- Bills
- HAVE FUN!
- Make lots of money
- HAVE MORE FUN
- Money makes money
- Bills
- Have the most fun possible!
- (Preston gets a MacArthur genius grant )

2 year fitness plan
- Eat less
- Work out more
- Eat less
- Work out more.
Fitness achieved!

Singing to be on stage? Maybe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUUNJJp0Dxs&feature=youtu.be - Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONGPJu-UAGw&list=UUgVpXbzbFNTtQEWx8jYmMGQ&index=1&feature=plcp - Little Sister

Over this Easter weekend my little sister and I took time out from coloring eggs and eating ham to record a couple videos. These are the first videos I am posting on my newly renewed blog and hope to have many more of us singing. Everyone is a critic and I welcome all comments, just leave my mother out of it. (Your mommas so old she left her purse on Noah’s ark!)

This is for a contest our local radio station is running. Billy Currington is coming to Tulsa this Thursday and the winner of this “Stage-Crasher” contest gets to sing on stage! If nothing else maybe one of us will win and I can get some lyrics in front of a country artist. It’s who you know and I don’t know Billy Currington yet, but maybe soon.

This is a brief post but don’t worry much more is coming in this first full week of I started a Blog… get to reading!

Something you don’t normally do, but should.

I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions of something I should do that might be considered amazing or at least something you don’t do everyday. It didn’t take long before the ideas came pouring in like so many drops of hilarious rain. Some were a bit financially taxing while others were simply absurd (thanks dad.) When the reply from my little sister came in via text message it struck a chord, go visit grandpa.

My mom’s dad is 89 years old and lives only ten minutes from my house. Since my grandmother passed away and he remarried we haven’t seen each other that much. I tell myself that is mostly because of our busy life but in reality it’s just because we haven’t taken the time. Visiting a place you used to frequent on a weekly basis can be a double edged sword. All the great memories of holidays and the times you spent with those cousins you only saw a few times a year. Every Fourth of July when the fireworks would scare away the dog and they would find him two counties over. Shooting grandpa with a Nerf missile launcher and knowing that fun time was over. Hiding in the custom made doghouse that was bigger than most downtown loft apartments and better constructed.

On the other sharper side of that sword is the fleeting moments of childhood. Same carpet but the rooms seem smaller. Same field but the grass seems rougher. Same kid of yesterday but with today’s worries.

I felt like I was visiting a familiar place in the way a museum seems safe and welcoming but never seems to change.

We were greeted at the door by my step-grandmother who explained that grandpa was in the shop out back working on something. As quickly as we had walked in the house we walked out the back sliding glass door. A common point of contention between grandpa and every grandchild over the years, Keep it Shut! Just like every other day I can recall stopping by their house, Grandpa stood in the small red barn/shop surrounded by tools. Missing only the iconic beer, Miller High Life I believe. With a warm old-mannish friendly “Well what the hells going on here,” it felt like we hadn’t missed a beat. We had no reason to be there other than to say hello and maybe catch up on a few happenings. But that didn’t seem to matter, he was happy to see us.

He told us about his troubles with a mower he bought only a few years ago while pointing out that the Cub Cadet he bought in 1975 for $2500 still worked. I sparked up the topic of the enormous satellite dish still standing in his backyard. ($5000, not sure what year) he assured me it used to be the top of the line and they got every channel, even the ones that didn’t hold anything back “if you know what I mean.” As a child of the 80s and 90s I remember seeing HBO for the first time at their house. Movies at your house, the wave of the future!

We walked by the shed where the wood bees lived and still do. I played the role
of dad and explained to Preston that back in my day you had a wooden paddle to slap the bees away, that was our version of the Wii. (Bii, haha) We admired a few relics as we walked to the garden where the ground is tilled up and ready for planting. April 15th to be exact. Grandpa told us about the year he planted three dozen pepper plants at a buck twenty five each and a late freeze took them all down, not running that risk again. He told us his knees keep him from doing more because 90 years is rough on a body. With a full head of hair, most of his hearing and a keen fashion sense he looks much younger.

We made our way back inside and chatted with both Grandpa and Shirley. After a half hour I stood up and said well we better go see Tommy. Everyone followed me into the back bedroom. Filled with posters and stuffed animals, a flat screen television and a VCR for playing VHS tapes, a body lift for moving disabled people and a Garfield clock whose tail had stopped swinging years ago.

Uncle Tom is my mother’s youngest, older brother. Thirty-nine years ago in 1973 Tommy and some friends skipped school at age 15. After drinking a few beers the boys crashed their jeep into a telephone poll and ultimately left Tommy with massive brain damage. They performed surgery almost immediately but were forced to remove part of the brain leaving him unable to function on his own. He lived under the care of my grandma until the day she passed. It is unclear his level of cognition, but he does react to certain voices and makes slight movements that almost give you hope. Grandpa has always said Tommy would never be in a home and so it has been.

Tommy has a full head of hair with no gray to speak of, and soft skin untarnished by work and sunlight. I don’t know if he knew who I was but in my mind he did. I patted him on the arm and talked to him just like I always have, like a normal healthy person. Preston and Jessica stood back slightly at first but became more comfortable as the minutes passed. As you know, when muscles are unused they begin to atrophy and after nearly forty years, Uncle Tom’s muscle tone is next to nothing. His arms and legs have seized up and pulled inward making moving them nearly impossible. He doesn’t appear to be in pain, however his idea of pain and mine are likely very different.

We said goodbye to Tommy and headed toward the front door. We had a nice visit at Goodmon Circle (the sign we bought for their giant circle driveway back in the early nineties) It was exactly what I expected for having no expectations. I feel a little guilty for feeling like my heart might have gained more peace than anyone else’s as a result of our visit. Maybe we should make an effort more often. I think I might try to do at least three things a week that I don’t normally do or might be considered extraordinary. Even if I fail at trying at least I know where I stand. Happy Good Friday!

Al Bundy would be proud.

Over the next few weeks I will be writing each and every day if for no other reason than to get the voices out of my head. Sometimes I feel special, mostly because my mother told me I was from the beginning, and other times I feel quite average and squashed nicely into a middle class wasteland. Yesterday a morning show here in Tulsa was talking about going to see a therapist. As a consistently upbeat person I have always felt that my problems were all fixable and without need of professional assistance. Turns out I was right, but now I see that my interactions with others are some of my finest moments and providing a positive outlook is as easy as simply speaking my mind. Maybe I’m not special to everyone but at least those that enjoy my musings can walk away with a smile and maybe a slight giggle.

In just the last few days I have experienced an array of emotions. I hesitate to use the phrase “life changing” at this early juncture in my writing but some perspective has been gained.

Everyone needs positive reinforcement. Everyone likes to be a part of a team. This past Sunday I was part of an alumni football game. Since the last game in high school over ten years ago, I had always assumed it was the last time I would strap on the pads and tie up the laces. It is not everyday that a nearly thirty year old “man” gets to relive the football glory days. As game time approached and the team came together in the center of the field reality sunk in with a big thud at the bottom of my gut. (I also hadn’t eaten much all day and the game was at 2PM.) As the coin flew up in the air and across the circle stood the opposing team captains I knew life had changed in the last ten years.

This was just a game, nothing more, no coaches yelling at you or telling you to try harder it was all about your desire to be there. No next day film session breaking down each play and pointing out that missed block. We were a team of guys that liked football and wanted to go out and knock some heads for a few hours. We weren’t trying to prove anything, except maybe that lack of exercise and unhealthy diet do not a good football player make.

My family and friends came out in support, I think. Maybe they are all just sadistic and were hoping for total carnage? Maybe they were just afraid for my life? Either way they were there. Showing up as you know is half the battle. I escaped without any major injuries. Between the bruises, scrapes and bumps a lack of food and an overabundance of sun, my body was spent. I told my dad I hurt all over and he said what hurts the most? My reply, breathing. I truly played for me, my wife and my son. We don’t have to tell the story of those high school days followed by a, “wish you could have seen me.” Now my son knows his dad is kind of a bad ass.

Aftermath 4th of July

Tuesday July 6

What a great time hanging out with friends and family, missed little sis, but NY was a good time. I think that I should let it be known that I am currently weighing 259 and plan on losing 10lbs fairly quickly. Beyond weight loss it is time for looking better. I have started P90x again kicking off with Chest and Back, so many pushups love it. Running and P90x are awesome eating right will make changes happen. I am really focused on working hard and making money while getting fit. This is country week at the Okie Idol karaoke challenge and i think I have to go with Garth. Let's do this. BIG WEEK PEOPLE Lake weekend is on July 30th, three weeks.