My son is eight years old and an only child.I don’t claim to be the best father on the planet but likely top five. I can’t compete with millionaires when it comes to gift giving but that is the beauty part of being a father, time is worth more than money. These are just a few observations I have found in the first eight years raising an only child. Those of you with multiple babes; I can’t even fathom the work and differences that would present. If you don’t have any kids yet, maybe someday you will and you can learn something from this. Otherwise I hope you see that life is humor and with a kid around humor is life.
When you first get pregnant everyone is full of advise most of which pertains to sleep, food and keys to success. Old or young parents everyone has an opinion on the secrets to parenthood. Don’t tell anyone but here are a few of the real secrets.
When asked, “Dad can I stay up five more minutes?”
Don’t answer. This is a trick question and in fact a beginning to a negotiation you will lose.
When asked, “So… do you hide the eggs?”
Always respond with a question, “What do you think?” or “Would you be disappointed if I did?” This will keep him thinking, while also allowing you time to gauge his emotional state.
When asked, “Can I play Wii/go ride bikes/play on the computer/ watch a show?”
Take this opportunity to capitalize on their willingness to do chores in order to enjoy other activities.
When asked… Anything about sex.
Become a scientist, speak in terms they may or may not understand and allow their little brains to produce fantastical imagery. They will be confused and yet informed. Never lie, it will come back and bite you.
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It is a scary world out there and between tv/movies/internet they know more than we ever did at whatever age they have reached. Both my wife and I graduated college and as a communications major my ability and willingness to hear myself speak comes with some transference of vocabulary, wit and over all smart-assedness. When asked if he was going to play a game this past weekend he crossed his arms leaned back in his chair and said, “I am still currently contemplating my decision.” Love that kid.
As far as I can tell being an only child is kind of like being a constant third wheel. The goal as parents is not making them feel that way. He doesn’t rule our world but we do make decisions that often revolve around him. He gets all the benefits of having two people focused on his every move, yet misses the benefits of a sibling. We didn’t have one child by choice; we are unable to naturally have others. Some might say this is a God thing and I agree. If we had another one this smart we would be working for them. It takes all we have to keep up with one!
I think that time spent with your child is the best possible use of time. Throwing a ball, playing video games, church, school functions, family stuff, parties and anything social will bring you that much closer together and they will respect your opinions and your authority that much more if you can connect with what makes them tick. Kids are so easily influenced and so eager to learn. We just hope between the two of us we can handle the homework. The more involved the better, you can’t over do it when it comes to participation.
When you plan on having a child or don’t really plan at all, that child is going to change your life. You might think about watching them at their first dance recital or t-ball game, but rarely do you think of explaining racism or death. I used to wonder why my parents knew so much and now I see they were learning this whole time. You never stop learning and with a kid you are forced to reflect and decide what type of person you want them to be. We only have a few short years to be THE guiding source before they are making decisions on their own. Our only hope is that we have instilled a moral compass that is both strong and easy to follow.
(We have only skimmed the surface on this topic and I plan on posting some funny stories and other "parenting tips". I gave my son the green light to ask anything and you can be sure he will. Hopefully it will make for some fun writing and reading.)
As far as I can tell being an only child is kind of like being a constant third wheel. The goal as parents is not making them feel that way. He doesn’t rule our world but we do make decisions that often revolve around him. He gets all the benefits of having two people focused on his every move, yet misses the benefits of a sibling. We didn’t have one child by choice; we are unable to naturally have others. Some might say this is a God thing and I agree. If we had another one this smart we would be working for them. It takes all we have to keep up with one!
I think that time spent with your child is the best possible use of time. Throwing a ball, playing video games, church, school functions, family stuff, parties and anything social will bring you that much closer together and they will respect your opinions and your authority that much more if you can connect with what makes them tick. Kids are so easily influenced and so eager to learn. We just hope between the two of us we can handle the homework. The more involved the better, you can’t over do it when it comes to participation.
When you plan on having a child or don’t really plan at all, that child is going to change your life. You might think about watching them at their first dance recital or t-ball game, but rarely do you think of explaining racism or death. I used to wonder why my parents knew so much and now I see they were learning this whole time. You never stop learning and with a kid you are forced to reflect and decide what type of person you want them to be. We only have a few short years to be THE guiding source before they are making decisions on their own. Our only hope is that we have instilled a moral compass that is both strong and easy to follow.
(We have only skimmed the surface on this topic and I plan on posting some funny stories and other "parenting tips". I gave my son the green light to ask anything and you can be sure he will. Hopefully it will make for some fun writing and reading.)
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