It is official, the kid is at the in-laws and tonight it is just me and that beautiful woman I tricked into marrying me. We are getting all dressed up and heading out on the town like those people you see in the movies, they still have restaurants out there for couples right? Not like freaky weirdo clubs just normal establishments that don’t have a play place or make you get your own drinks.It has been a while since we have gone out.
As it turns out I need some underground club in the Tulsa area to make me look cooler than I really am. Any suggestions? I am taking my supermodel wife out for drinks and dinner and after that it is up in the air. We were going to take the private jet to NYC and catch a show but darn it if the gas tank doesn’t have a hole in it. They can’t get it patched until Monday. You know how that goes, maybe next time. Besides you see one Broadway show you’ve pretty much seen them all.
Snipe hunting? I hear they are in season. And because of the unusually mild winter their survival rate was elevated. Again, do I really feel like buying all that gear? Probably not. Traps, flashlights bait, gummy worms or pork rinds work best. That’s what our expedition leader told
us last year. He provided everything, all-inclusive, and at $700 a person you can’t beat that price. Turns out we unknowingly spooked them with our “city” smell. Live and learn. This pic only cost $50.00, you can almost see something and yet not see anything, elusive buggers.Or maybe we could walk around downtown Tulsa handing out coupons for high-end restaurants to the homeless, that’s noble I think. Plus the look on their faces would be priceless. Well maybe priceless isn’t the right word for that situation considering the economic implications. Hilarious, that’s the word I was thinking.
Totally unrelated. How do you think early miners would feel about Goldschläger? Seems kind of like we are slapping them in the face? No?
Mad Men theme night? We will already be dressed up so why not go out individually and pretend we have no morals. Meet back at the house Saturday morning and eat breakfast like nothing happened. Nope, now that I wrote it out it seems like it could cause problems. Plus I hate whiskey, deal breaker.
Night Trips? Not that sleazy strip joint, the 1989 adult film starring Tori Welles. IMDB(Internet Movie Database) gives it a 7.1 of 10. This is an actual viewer review:
“This is a very nice movie stylistically, one that is somewhat different from other porn movies. The settings are unusual - one is a staircase. The various sex scenes that are dreamt by Tori Welles are shot in different color filters. During the sex scenes, you don't hear the actors - you only hear music. The drawback is that you actually have to be watching the TV (or know the story very well!) to know what's going on, but it's worth it to me.”
You can’t argue with art. I mean who doesn’t enjoy porn cinematography and being forced to watch as to not lose the plot line. Something about retro pornography does take me back. 1989, seven years old, watching a bootleg VHS of Debbie Does Dallas. Those were the days. If I recall that was the first time I noticed how a strong lead character can really drive a film home.
I know I will think of something. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and not have a plan. Who knows maybe we go for drinks and end up singing karaoke at 2AM in Oklahoma City? How could that end poorly? I will keep thinking and if you wonderful readers out there have any suggestions please feel free to send them my way. Thanks again for reading.
BRING ON THE DATE NIGHT!
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