The Oklahoma City bombing / Children's influences

April 19th 1995 – I was only twelve years old that day my home state was rocked by a domestic terrorist act, the largest in US history. My only connection with the bombing was living in the same state. No family members or friends were lost. I was in the sixth grade at Central Upper Elementary. We watched the news briefly but were shielded from most of the coverage. I don’t remember having fear, only joking about a yellow Ryder truck parked out front of our school a few days later. Making it a joke made it easier.

We knew life was lost and yet our days continued without delay. The world didn’t as they say, come to a halt. We didn’t question our life goals or reflect on how we could become better people, it was just elementary school. Not until September 11, 2001 as freshmen in college would my generation assess the world in a new light. I haven’t heard much more about the bombing other than the occasional visit to the memorial and the class trip to hang items on the makeshift chain link barricade shortly after the event. It was not until yesterday when I learned more about the story behind the bombing.

I just finished watching a special on the Oklahoma City bombing. It was focused mostly on the man behind the attack, Timothy McVeigh. All I could think as I watched the story unfold was ‘how did a little innocent child become a man possessed?’ Sure they told his back story of being bullied as a child and the perfect fit he was for military service, but surely there must be a perfect storm of mental problems that would lead a young man to terrorize his fellow Americans.

After a long afternoon of learning some not so pleasant details about the kids in our neighborhood, I guess my brain just connected the two issues. At some point our children are on their own in both public and private situations and it is up to them how they will respond. It scares the hell out of me to think that a perfectly “normal” child with above average intelligence can become so jaded or skewed in their views.

I hate the idea that a human can have thoughts so negative.

They pointed out that McVeigh not only shown sympathy for the Waco Branch Davidians but in fact was at the sight during a portion of the standoff. He said it was a travesty that the government would kill these innocent gun loving people. His motivations for the Oklahoma City bombing were more than only that event but his “logic” couldn’t be more off base.

Children need a fair shake. Not only does it help to have a peaceful upbringing but a stable support system. We are influenced by so many factors in the early years it is hard to know what will stick. It is a funny feeling; I am torn between hoping my son will be a more powerful positive influence and keeping him away from the “bad” kids. What if his levelheaded approach keeps the others out of trouble? What if the peer pressure is too much and he submits?

I like to think that individuals like McVeigh are few and far between. However, I think everyone is capable of extreme thoughts and actions but most choose to contain them and never act upon them. We all fight our demons and in the end hopefully control them. Dealing with these issues can take many forms. Writing, working out, running, baking, eating, reading, building, creating and destroying. Through religion and faith we often find peace, but in some cases even the ideas behind scripture can be twisted into words of hate. It is up to us to keep our children on the right path by teaching good and bad, right and wrong.

They also mentioned that McVeigh did not have a family to speak of, no real connections with his parents or grandparents and had no wife or children. The loneliness and individualism helps breed a position of disconnection from society and in his case a total lack of respect for life. Only we can show our son how important family and life are and the connection between happiness and self-control.

You don’t have to be a robot, but you don’t have to be extreme to be noticed or loved. There are ways to get a point across without harming others and in words we find power beyond our means. Making good decisions or right decisions are not always easy. I don’t fear for our son becoming a monster, but a victim of a monster. We can’t protect him forever but for now that is my only true function.

I would be naive to think that something like the OKC bombing will not happen in his lifetime. As the world becomes more global and technology continues to surpass our wildest imaginations and our population expands, the acts of aggression or retaliation will likely increase. I hope for a bright future. I hope my son is among the leaders helping drive positive messages and acts. I hope for many great things for him and will work diligently toward making those hopes reality.

The OKC bombing was a tragedy that could have possibly been prevented with a guiding hand. What if the other men involved would have had the guts to step up and stop it? What if McVeigh would have found help? ‘What if’ doesn’t get those 168 lives back, but it does help us see how human connections drive society in both the positive and the negative. I don’t know if the boys in our neighborhood are beyond help but I don’t see how reaching out to them could hurt. Some kids just need somebody to look up to and others just need a good friend, maybe we can provide both.